the letter

“Just write,” she says…not knowing, I guess, that she has given me liberty to unlock those metaphorical gates that have held my emotions bound

So now, half-way in love, if not totally, I can dwell on the promise unfulfilled of a kiss and more

Of your touch, of your taste…the look on your face when we…

Ok.

You know what? Maybe I’ll continue that piece in the future. For now, I’ll “just write”.

I can’t even say we just met, ‘cause we haven’t really; but I do feel - hope – that something inside me has touched something inside you.  We both say we’d be happy with friendship, if that’s all it turns out to be.  But honestly, I think I’d always want more with you.

Strange, they say. “How can you profess all this to and for someone you’ve never even seen?”  Truth is, if I knew the how or the why, I would probably stop myself.  But I don’t…and I’m not sure I was meant to.  I know I need to be more understanding of your hesitation…it’s only natural to be wary, for this is not your everyday “proposal”.  So forgive me when I’m not patient.  And if you can, love me a little for why I’m not:

I want my possible tomorrow with you to begin today…

Yes, we do not “know” each other, but I would wish the journey to begin now…this second. For my glimpses beyond the veil have intrigued me…beguiled me…ensnared me. But in a good way…lol.

I’ve read your words, and inscribed them close to my heart, water in an arid land.

We cannot predict each path we will take before we get there…but, dear heart, that is sometimes what makes the trip so interesting.

Let’s start with what I do know:

I know I want to love you, love your mind, your smile, your heart, your body…

And I want you to love me. Simple words with a world of meaning, pain and joy behind them…Worth it? Risk it? I can…can you?

I know I want to hold you while you sleep, and smile when you’re awake. Tell you how I feel every chance that I get….with my eyes, with my hands, with my lips…even in total silence, I want you to hear my heart.

Now that’s scary.  You know, I haven’t been in a forever relationship before either…obviously.  So I do have those thoughts, questions, doubts… “Even if I believe she cares now…am I truly forever lovable?  How long would it last?”

See, I have known heartache…and there’s a reason why they call it an “ache”…not to put it too poetically…it’s like having a toothache for which the only cure is pulling it out…causing even more pain, but less than you would have felt if you just left it in.

In other words, pain getting rid of even more pain.  I had a point somewhere…

Oh yes: I’m not looking for perfection…for I have none to give.

I’m just offering me…I’m here. I’m not going anywhere{I don’t think}.

Your “yes”, even with all its spoken and unspoken conditions, was a joy to me, as you know.  Some things I guess I have to wait for, but I have faith will come:

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