It’s a big, big world…am I a big, big girl?
Sometimes I think I am. I think I can take on anything, and anyone. Just please come in ones…definitely no more than twos. I often let my mind wander from the scene of its last confusion…I let it drift to the mundane, the comfortable “known” factors. I think maybe this is when my shields and walls are strengthened, until the time comes when I return to face the un-known.
But when I am shaken simultaneously from within and by the world around me…I suddenly feel like a defenseless child. Yes, I’ve heard “face them one at a time”…but in the heat of the moment, everything is urgent…every situation requires immediate attention. And there’s just little, little me.
Do I feed the soul and neglect the body’s more practical needs? Can the flesh survive when the heart is dying? Indeed, does it even want to survive without a heart?
Do I focus on where I am, and where I want to be…or do I meditate on who I am and where I may end up? Are these trick questions? I wish.
So what usually happens? Well…hopefully one thing or the other will either get sorted out, or sort itself out…giving me the motivation to face everything else. That’s the best I feel I can do right now. I will maybe feel differently later. With a little more wind beneath my wings. And if there’s none? Hell, I’ll flap ‘em anyways.
So there, world!
