hope interrupted 2
Part Poem / Part Rant / Part Nothing
And so I opened my heart to the possibility of eternity,
and my soul to the touch of another…
the word to note there is “opened”
For when you open a door, all may pass through
The noble and the base…the good and the bad.
It takes a lot of trust to open yourself up to someone….duh.
I think it takes more stoic faith in love and acceptance to give yourself over to be loved, than to love someone else.
See, you know yourself…know every dark thought you’ve ever had….
Every failing you ever achieved…every fall you ever succeeded at
More than that…you know your tendencies and quirks of personality…
And if you are someone like me…you know you really gotta have faith that you will be loved in spite of all that
Before you open that proverbial door…
It’s almost a catch 22 situation (has anybody actually read that book? I have….)
How can they love and accept you when they know not whom they love and what they accept?
Do you warn them in sufficiently vague terms that they may be in for an often-murky, maybe-troubled,
however love-filled ride?
And then maybe hope that they don’t believe you, or understate the severity of your warnings?
Maybe you have a lingering hope that you have somehow been reborn….
Maybe you feel that in giving in to the liberty to love again
You have overcome the darkness that swirled within…
For surely that darkness was borne of lack of love to begin with….
and can thus be banished by the presence of that same love…?
Which came first….the chicken or the egg?
Were you given to fits of mental solitude because you were unloved….
Or where you unloved because you gave in to those times of darkened introspection
that exploded into regretted words, piercing the soul of those closest to you?
I know that I love…however, I sense it is not my place to say
“stay and help me fight the black knight…and the dark night.”
Dependency would conceivably make a home in our hearts and bed…
I wish I could say, “give me a couple of weeks and all will be well.”
But there is no magic wand…there is only time, and commitment and dedication…and how much of these we have to spare...to invest.
Me?
I know I love…and I know I want forever to manifest.
