He wants me, but She wants me not...
Why is it that men stop to stare at me, forever trying to be the one to put the proverbial “twinkle in my eye”, and yet I have to work for the ladies?
Maybe it’s that “je ne sais quoi” (translation: damn, she fine!) that unavailable women tend to have. Read unavailable as “Gay”.
But, back to my point. Apparently, I - at least superficially – look good enough to never lack for male companionship. This would thrill me no end...if I were straight.
But this is not the vibe I get from my fellow sisters in the life.
It is possible that men really do chase after anything in a skirt, and I should stop kidding myself. Which could explain the lack of enthusiastic response from the ladies, I suppose. All true…but I don’t wear skirts. Kinda throws a wrench in the whole theory…for me at least.
Maybe it’s the unavailability thing that does it. You know, the cliché “men want any woman they can’t have”. But if we accept that one, then women also operate under the same principle. They don’t go wild at the thought of me because they know they can have me. Why they don’t just go ahead and take me is something best left to Freud. But he, like most men, is incapable of explaining the female thought / feeling / action phenomenon. To be fair, he is – again like most men his age – dead. But that’s what viagra is for. Droll.
Anyway, with no definite understanding, I will go out tonight. I will have fun. I will at least make some lovely lady laugh – with me, or at me…or just near me? I will let loose and cut a rug. If there is no rug, I will buy one, and then cut it. I will make Dave Barry proud. I will try to put away the thoughts of romance and sex Miss Sarah Waters is trying so valiantly – and successfully – to engrave in my soul. I will try to not throw up. I will come back home and crawl into my own bed, not under it…I will reach for the pink thingie, and then love myself – though maybe not as Oprah assures me I should. Then I will fall asleep. Alone. Why the hell do I bother?
PS: Anybody else going to Heaven in NYC tonight?
AND I will continue the daydream series soon. I just want to get a healthy dose of reality, so I can try and avoid it totally in my writing.
